For many IVF patients, the issue of sex during the IVF process is a big one. Should you, and do you want to? The appointments, injections, scans and general anxiety of treatment make intimacy a challenge. So, many patients wonder if sex is safe – or out of the question.
The answer? Sex during an IVF cycle isn’t automatically off-limits. It depends on where you are in your cycle, how your body feels, what your clinic recommends, and what feels right for you.
There’s no perfect answer. It’s a balance between medical caution and your emotional wellbeing. Read on for our advice, based on numerous studies and clinical best practice.
Why sex during IVF can feel different
IVF affecta intimacy in complex ways. For many couples, it’s the glue that keep them close. Maintaining a sex life is tough. Physical symptoms – bloating, tenderness, vaginal dryness, breast soreness – conspire to make sex unappealing. You’re tired and stressed. Desire can disappear.
Research into sexual function during IVF shows that fertility treatment can strain sexual relationships. The psychological pressures and ‘nervous tension’ of treatment are linked to anxiety and depression. The study recommends more counselling, and more understanding from clinics, about the emotional toll.
That toll affects men more than first thought. Another study found a surprisingly high rate of sexual dysfunction in men during treatment, alongside significant mental anguish. Like the first study, it calls for better understanding of the emotional welfare and support needed by IVF couples.
Is sex during IVF medically safe?
In general, sex during IVF is safe at certain points. Most clinics tailor their advice depending on the stage of the treatment cycle.
There’s no single, definitive study that answers every question around sex during IVF. Some research suggests a possible boost in implantation rates from sexual intercourse the day before embryo transfer. But this applies to frozen embryo transfers and it’s far from conclusive.
Another study raised concerns about intercourse during the implantation window. It may increase the risk of miscarriage. Most clinics therefore take a cautious approach, especially after embryo transfer.
A recurring theme is that the medical risk isn’t the same throughout the cycle. Sex during the stimulation phase might be a slightly different issue than sex just before, or just after, egg retrieval or transfer. Let’s break it down.
Sex during ovarian stimulation: possible, but maybe not comfortable
During follicular development, your ovaries become larger and more sensitive. For some patients, intercourse is physically uncomfortable, due to bloating, pelvic pressure, or tenderness. Some clinics may allow protected sexual intercourse here, but if it feels uncomfortable, don’t do it.
A bigger practical concern is unintended pregnancy. This is technically possible, even though you’re medicated and your ovaries are controlled. A multiple pregnancy is the main worry. Ovarian torsion, though rare, can happen if you have sex when your ovaries are enlarged.
So, if your clinic says yes to intercourse during the stimulation phase, use a condom. Or play it safe and don’t have sex at all. If you’re at risk of OHSS, the usual advice is to abstain from sex and leave your ovaries well alone.
Sex before egg retrieval: ask your clinic about timing
Many clinics recommend abstinence in the days just before egg retrieval. This applies to both partners. If a sperm sample is needed on retrieval day (which is usually is, unless you freeze your eggs), male partners shouldn’t ejaculate for two to seven days prior to it. This optimises sperm quality. Our own clinic recommends two to three days. Ask yours.
For women, caution is best in the few days before egg retrieval. Your ovaries are enlarged, so ovarian twisting, follicle rupture and discomfort are all possible if you have sex. The small risk of a multiple pregnancy is worth reiterating: if you ovulate naturally and bypass the effects of the IVF medication, this can occur.
The most sensible option is to consider stopping sexual intercourse on the day you start your stimulation. Ask your clinic for its opinion.
Sex after egg retrieval: let your ovaries recover
After egg retrieval, many patients need a few days – sometimes longer – before sex feels comfortable. Cramping, spotting, bloating and tenderness are the usual offenders. Your ovaries have been punctured and your body pumped with hormones. Take it easy and allow a week or two of recovery, or ideally longer, before having sex.
And a word about over-stimulation. Bloating, and the other common symptoms after egg retrieval, can be uncomfortable. But if you experience unusual pain, dizziness, extreme bloating or shortness of breath, that’s not just a no-sex situation. You need to see a doctor right away to rule out OHSS.
Sex after embryo transfer: the jury is out
IVF patients often ask if sex after embryo transfer can negatively affect implantation. The studies are mixed.
An old, but intriguing, study suggests that semen exposure just after embryo transfer could help with implantation and embryo development.
Then, as discussed, we have the more recent study on sexual intercourse before embryo transfer. Specifically for frozen cycles, timed intercourse the day before could lead to more pregnancies. But that was a small trial.
A third study went the other way. It found that intercourse after embryo transfer raised the risk of miscarriage in fresh and frozen cycles. The window of implantation was highlighted as a moment when sex is unwise, mainly due to uterine contractions.
So, what should patients do, or not do? Most clinics recommend cautious abstinence after embryo transfer. The evidence for and against is inconclusive. Our suggestion? Play it safe.
The best answer: follow your clinic, then your body
Addressing the thorny issue of sex and IVF overall, the summary is this:
- During stimulation: sex may be fine if comfortable. But condom use is best, and some patients should avoid sex altogether.
- Close to egg retrieval: follow your clinic’s instructions closely. Be super-cautious.
- After egg retrieval: wait until pain, bloating and ovarian tenderness improve.
- After embryo transfer: many clinics recommend abstaining for several days, or the whole two week wait. So, once again, it’s the cautious approach.
No clear guidance from major fertility bodies like ESHHE or the ASRM seem to exist about sex during IVF. It falls to clinics to advise each patient based on their specific situation and protocol – and taking their physical and emotional wellbeing into account. Don’t be shy about raising the issue with your clinic.
Intimacy during IVF: it doesn’t have to be intercourse
During IVF, intimacy can exist away from penetrative sex. If intercourse is painful, stressful, or feels emotionally the ‘wrong call’, closeness need not disappear.
Many couples can connect in other ways. Touching, kissing and cuddling can be a delight. Emotional lightness – in the form of humour, honest conversation and general affection – can work well. IVF can be brutal. Try to reclaim some gentleness through kindness and closeness.
Sex and IVF – in summary
Sex during certain points of the IVF process isn’t always a bad idea. Medically, it comes down to timing. The caution points are the days before and after egg retrieval, and around embryo transfer.
As discussed, the safest route is avoiding sex from the start of your IVF stimulation until at least the HCG pregnancy test two weeks post transfer. But that advice is not set in stone. You and your clinic must decide what works best for you.
IVF can decouple us from our sexual selves. Let’s remind ourselves that fertility treatment is an intense, challenging experience. Staying close, and being kind to each other, is key. A fulfilling sex life can return once your treatment is concluded.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can you have sex during IVF stimulation?
Often yes, but it depends on how your body feels and what your clinic advises. As the ovaries enlarge, sex can become uncomfortable. Some clinics also recommend condoms during stimulation to avoid unintended pregnancy when multiple follicles are developing.
Is sex a few days before egg retrieval allowed?
It depends on timing. If a sperm sample is needed, your clinic may ask male partners to abstain beforehand. As retrieval gets closer, ovarian swelling and tenderness can make intercourse uncomfortable, so follow your clinic’s instructions carefully.
Can sex affect egg retrieval?
Sex before egg retrieval carries a small risk of infection. It may also be uncomfortable. If you have unprotected sex in the days before egg retrieval, there’s a risk of a multiple pregnancy if you ovulate naturally prior to the trigger shot. But sex doesn’t usually affect the physical process of egg retrieval.
Is it safe to have sex after egg retrieval?
Not always straight away. You may not want to. After retrieval, the ovaries may still be swollen and tender. Bloating or cramping can make sex uncomfortable. If you’re at risk of OHSS, your clinic may advise waiting until symptoms improve.
Can sex dislodge an embryo after embryo transfer?
An embryo doesn’t simply ‘fall out’ after transfer. The concern is more to do with uterine contractions and infection, which could affect implantation. Because the research is mixed, many clinics advise abstinence around this point of your treatment.
How long should you abstain from sex after embryo transfer?
There’s no single rule. Some clinics advise waiting a week or so. Others prefer abstinence until the pregnancy test at the end of the two-week wait. Follow your own clinic’s guidance, especially if you have bleeding, cramping, or other risk factors. Playing it safe is often the best strategy.
Does the research show that sex helps implantation?
Some studies suggest semen exposure or intercourse around transfer may improve implantation and clinical pregnancy rates. Other studies raise concerns about intercourse during the implantation window. The evidence is inconsistent. Ask your clinic for its advice in your case.
Can orgasms during IVF be harmful?
Orgasms aren’t automatically harmful. After embryo transfer, some clinics prefer caution because orgasm can trigger uterine contractions. During stimulation, or after retrieval, the main issue is discomfort due to ovarian enlargement. The best advice may be to avoid orgasms at this stage.
What if sex is painful during IVF?
Pain is a sign to stop. IVF medication can cause bloating, pelvic tenderness and vagina; dryness. A cautious approach is to avoid sex altogether from the start of stimulation until at least the post-treatment pregnancy test. If sex is still uncomfortable then, abstain for longer.
What forms of intimacy are there if intercourse is off the table?
IVF can make intercourse feel emotionally awkward, not just uncomfortable. Many couples opt for non-penetrative intimacy instead. Touching, kissing and cuddling are pleasant ways to connect. Keeping things emotionally light, and being kind to each other, can help you navigate the physical and emotional demands of IVF.
31 Responses
I find it interesting that you say many women don’t feel like sex during IVF. Seriously, I think the hormone medications are kicking my libido into high gear, so the two week wait is like torture. We find that our problem is just the opposite. We want it, and I’m always in the mood lately, but we have to abstain for now.
I find it interesting that you say many women don’t feel like sex during IVF. Seriously, I think the hormone medications are kicking my libido into high gear, so the two week wait is like torture. We find that our problem is just the opposite. We want it, and I’m always in the mood lately, but we have to abstain for now.
I had a day-3 embryo transfer 6 days ago and knowing we can’t have sex makes me and my husband want it more! The saying is totally true: the “dreaded 2 week wait”. We will not risk our dream of having a baby, so walks and desserts are helping us forget!
I had a day-3 embryo transfer 6 days ago and knowing we can’t have sex makes me and my husband want it more! The saying is totally true: the “dreaded 2 week wait”. We will not risk our dream of having a baby, so walks and desserts are helping us forget!
I’m in the stimulant stage at the minute.my stomach is so bloated and I feel like rubbish cause of allthe hormones I have to inject,but funny enough my sex drive has gone higher rather than Lower,never felt like it.but now having the hormone injections.i could all the time.its weird how so people do feel like it and some go mental for it.ive been a bit tearful as expected but apart from the crap side effects not been to stressed.and it’s hard not to get stressed but that’s the key I think.take one day as it comes and relax and try and stay calm.its so hard to go through some thing like this but stay calm guys xxx
I’m in the stimulant stage at the minute.my stomach is so bloated and I feel like rubbish cause of allthe hormones I have to inject,but funny enough my sex drive has gone higher rather than Lower,never felt like it.but now having the hormone injections.i could all the time.its weird how so people do feel like it and some go mental for it.ive been a bit tearful as expected but apart from the crap side effects not been to stressed.and it’s hard not to get stressed but that’s the key I think.take one day as it comes and relax and try and stay calm.its so hard to go through some thing like this but stay calm guys xxx
We had our transfer last Friday. We have not had sexual intercourse for a while now. But the hormone medication is putting me in the mood all the time, however we have done some cuddling and kissing. Don’t know if that is harmful too.
We had our transfer last Friday. We have not had sexual intercourse for a while now. But the hormone medication is putting me in the mood all the time, however we have done some cuddling and kissing. Don’t know if that is harmful too.
As for me I never wanted sex in my life like I have during my IVF stims.. my sex drive was just too high (I had my egg retrieval yesterday). I will not be having a fresh transfer and even though I was so sad about it initially I am glad I will be taking time off to get my body relax and possibly flash all these hormones out from the injections and most importantly get off the sex fasting session for a while… lol
As for me I never wanted sex in my life like I have during my IVF stims.. my sex drive was just too high (I had my egg retrieval yesterday). I will not be having a fresh transfer and even though I was so sad about it initially I am glad I will be taking time off to get my body relax and possibly flash all these hormones out from the injections and most importantly get off the sex fasting session for a while… lol
We totally abstained from sex the entire IVF process until I was 21 weeks. I read blogs and forums that it was totally safe. At 22 weeks, my waters broke. I was admitted and developed fever that night. The doctors cannot say what caused the leak, possibly an infection. Or it can be the other way around wherein the ruptured membrane caused the infection. We lost our baby at 23 weeks. Our doctor said that having sex may or may not have triggered it. We are planning the next implantation next year. This time there will be no sex at all.
I am so sorry you went through this. I did too. My water broke at 19 weeks immediately after sex. (Literally got out of bed and it came gushing out) I was admitted to the hospital and put on strict bedrest to try and get the water to build back up. I had a terrible fever as well, and had 2 different drs come to try and get me to abort. It was horrifying. I would not give up hope. Eventually, my beautiful daughter was stillborn at 22 weeks. That was 11 years ago nearly to the day. I’m currently stimming for my first IVF round, hoping for a rainbow. If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here.
Lucky guy
We totally abstained from sex the entire IVF process until I was 21 weeks. I read blogs and forums that it was totally safe. At 22 weeks, my waters broke. I was admitted and developed fever that night. The doctors cannot say what caused the leak, possibly an infection. Or it can be the other way around wherein the ruptured membrane caused the infection. We lost our baby at 23 weeks. Our doctor said that having sex may or may not have triggered it. We are planning the next implantation next year. This time there will be no sex at all.
I am so sorry you went through this. I did too. My water broke at 19 weeks immediately after sex. (Literally got out of bed and it came gushing out) I was admitted to the hospital and put on strict bedrest to try and get the water to build back up. I had a terrible fever as well, and had 2 different drs come to try and get me to abort. It was horrifying. I would not give up hope. Eventually, my beautiful daughter was stillborn at 22 weeks. That was 11 years ago nearly to the day. I’m currently stimming for my first IVF round, hoping for a rainbow. If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here.
Lucky guy
I had frozen embryo transfer two times before. The first failed but the 2nd time I had 2 embryos put in and I have a gorgeous almost 4 year old boy and I just did another frozen embryo transfer on March 28, 2019. My doctor said no sex until they tell me and I’m waiting. I will have my pregnancy test April 8 and I will come back here to let you guys know if it work
I had frozen embryo transfer two times before. The first failed but the 2nd time I had 2 embryos put in and I have a gorgeous almost 4 year old boy and I just did another frozen embryo transfer on March 28, 2019. My doctor said no sex until they tell me and I’m waiting. I will have my pregnancy test April 8 and I will come back here to let you guys know if it work
Had my embryo transfer on Monday the 08 of April 2019 and did the first test already and it’s positive. I was so happy. I had intercourse with my husband on Sunday the 21 of April 2019. Now I am scared AF! Wht if something bad happens to my baby I will never forgive myself.
It was frozen transfer or fresh?
How about your experience in egg collection and embryo transfer sister. Is it painful? How you take care yourself before pregnancy test?
Had my embryo transfer on Monday the 08 of April 2019 and did the first test already and it’s positive. I was so happy. I had intercourse with my husband on Sunday the 21 of April 2019. Now I am scared AF! Wht if something bad happens to my baby I will never forgive myself.
It was frozen transfer or fresh?
How about your experience in egg collection and embryo transfer sister. Is it painful? How you take care yourself before pregnancy test?
Hi guys,
I had my egg retrieval 5days ago, and I feel like having sex. Can i?
Hi guys,
I had my egg retrieval 5days ago, and I feel like having sex. Can i?
Hi Ladies
I had egg retrieval 11 days ago, hubby and I had sex last night on day 10. We wont be doing the embryo transfer due to the Nationwide lockdown as a result of COVID19 outbreak until after a month from now. Would this affect the process at all? Haven’t seen my period also but my Dr said after the 10day pill he put me on my period should come. This whole process is hard, I’ve never cried so much in my life, watching my body grow bigger and my breasts tender and sore as hell. I admire anyone that has been through this in pursuit to have a baby of their own. We go through the most!
Hi Ladies
I had egg retrieval 11 days ago, hubby and I had sex last night on day 10. We wont be doing the embryo transfer due to the Nationwide lockdown as a result of COVID19 outbreak until after a month from now. Would this affect the process at all? Haven’t seen my period also but my Dr said after the 10day pill he put me on my period should come. This whole process is hard, I’ve never cried so much in my life, watching my body grow bigger and my breasts tender and sore as hell. I admire anyone that has been through this in pursuit to have a baby of their own. We go through the most!
I started my ejection today , I have a question , anything I can do to avoid adding weight ?
We had injections, but the process was cancelled as my follicles were not big enough. So we have stopped the injections (day 9). I ovulate naturally this weekend. With lots of follicles in place and they will now be large enough, is it safe to have sex and is the chance of falling pregnant higher?
Thanks
What happens if you have unprotected sex during stimulation?